Philosopher-Truck Driver John Ring, Mama Ring, and a 10-month-old Micah Ring in front of Cracker Barrel, San Marcos, Texas; December 2017. Credit: Sean Ring

When my parents were still living in Texas, there was one excursion we always took whenever I visited. We always went to Cracker Barrel. You may know I’m a sucker for old stuff, and Cracker Barrel felt like a bit of Old Americana to me. They served tasty, filling food at a reasonable price in a setting that I consider ideal. 

Our particular Cracker Barrel, just north of San Antonio on I-35, had an enormous fireplace lit during the winter to keep the place warm.

Yours Truly and Le Petit Prince in front of the warm fireplace in Cracker Barrel, December 2017. Credit: Sean Ring

Around Christmas time, Cracker Barrel felt particularly toasty. We even loved browsing the store as we waited to be seated. They sold so many old-time candies and confections! I arrived with a big smile on my face… and left with an even bigger smile.

In yesterday’s Daily Reckoning, my friend and colleague Byron King thoroughly smashed the… hmmm…. “strategy” (their word, not mine) of turning homey, warm Cracker Barrel into some sort of Frankenstein’s Monster of Waffle House meets Ikea. (No offense to Waffle House.)

Byron writes:

But the Cracker Barrel story does offer another of those “what the heck”-moments, when you shake your head and wonder about the collective competency/incompetency of America’s managerial class. Because something is very wrong with the suits in the company C-suite.

As the image above reflects, Cracker Barrel management changed the logo to eliminate both the barrel, and also the old guy who leans up against it (aka the “cracker,” according to some wags). Now, the front-facing, public signage of this outfit is a sterile, boring, meaningless, orange and brown nothing-burger.

Plus, the company has another expensive, corporate-level program in play, to deconstruct its iconic store innards. The plan is to remove all the curiosities, kitsch, throwback items, framed whatevers, and general bric-a-brac that has long hung on the restaurant walls, and which has established the general Cracker Barrel look, feel, tone, and brand.

I’d remind the CBRL’s C-suite of my favorite Chesterton quote: “Don’t be so open-minded your brains fall out.” But that would be a waste.

It’s more like, “There’s no all-American brand a woke white liberal woman won’t attempt to destroy.”

And it wasn’t like Julie Masino wasn’t warned:

Credit: @AsraNomani

She’s now on the hot seat, which is lucky for her. If it were up to me, she’d already be gone.

Masino is just one in a long list of brand destroyers.

Have you bought a Gillette razor lately? I bet I know why not.

That’s Kim Gehrig, who came up with the stupid idea of shaming “toxic masculinity” during a shaving commercial. She’s so proud of her work in sinking the brand, the commercial isn’t even on her website portfolio.

And what about these more famous examples?

Bud Light. Jaguar. Star Wars. Indiana Jones. The Marvel Cinematic Universe (now known as the “M-She-U”).

They all suck now, and they’re all dead brands. And let’s be honest: we know who destroyed them.

Matt Walsh’s commentary on this is spot on.

The Real Reason CBRL Stock Is Down

Of course, the real reason Cracker Barrel stock has been on a downward trajectory is the same reason restaurant stocks always fall: declining food quality.

Now I haven’t been to a Cracker Barrel store for a while, but the complaints online are loud and clear.

Credit: @WallStreetApes

Ok, so they’re microwaving food. Not great.

And apparently, the biscuits are harder than diamonds because, allegedly, they’re not making them in the stores anymore.

But if the food doesn’t scare your family away, this stuff might:

Credit:@TooWhiteToTweet

Honestly, is it too much to ask if we can just eat without “celebrating?”

And lest you think I’m being too much, let me introduce you to one of my favorite grandfathers, Snoop Dog:

Credit: @MarioNawfal

He caught hell from the LGBTQ+ brigade, but I sympathize. In fact, Ring Manor doesn’t have a Disney+ subscription for precisely this reason.

“Woke” doesn’t work for families anymore. They’ve simply had enough.

Uncle Herschel Lives!

After an enormous amount of pressure, Masino and her feckless board caved. Thank heavens.

Only 12 hours ago on X, Cracker Barrel posted this:

We thank our guests for sharing your voices and love for Cracker Barrel. We said we would listen, and we have. Our new logo is going away and our “Old Timer” will remain.

At Cracker Barrel, it’s always been – and always will be – about serving up delicious food, warm welcomes, and the kind of country hospitality that feels like family. As a proud American institution, our 70,000 hardworking employees look forward to welcoming you to our table soon.

Well done, everyone! You’ve saved an American institution!

Now, if they get the food straightened out, I’m sure the stock price will resume its climb. A completely revamped Board and a new CEO who isn’t woke wouldn’t go amiss, either.

Wrap Up

The CEO of America also chimed in, but I don’t think the USG is taking a stake in the company just yet.

The Donald is happy. I’m happy. And I hope you’re happy.

The Barrel is saved.

Have a great day!